saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize