i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
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pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
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i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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