Me too!
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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