Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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