So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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