So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
