That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize