He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
