I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
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just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
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Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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