Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I FOUND THE LEGS
Dicks are not precious.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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