Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
