i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize