are you so shy because you have an std?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
