LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
