Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
