you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
