if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just found puke in my bra..
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
