I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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