I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize