I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
