I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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