My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Randomize
