The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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