we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
