Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You made out with two different species that night
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
