Just mADE A PArabola og urine
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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