Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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