If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
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