i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
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Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
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We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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