i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her