My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.