i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor