Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
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In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"