if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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