One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
