I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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