What did we do last night that was yellow?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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