Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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