So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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