i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
