what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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