TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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