Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
