i already hear my dad disowning me
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
