2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
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