At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
