He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
