I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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