Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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