Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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