fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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