Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
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