Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
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