it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Gay?
German.
Pity.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize