after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
