I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain