I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.