She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
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My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
He melted the stem
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
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He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.