You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
