I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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