The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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