first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
