end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize