i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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