you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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