Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I just forgot I was standing up.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
