Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
